How Does Surrogacy Work For Gay Parents: Answers To All Questions

Olga Pysana
December 11 2022

Surrogacy is one of two options for gay couples who want to have children (the other is adoption). It is important to understand what is gay surrogacy. It's a long and expensive process, and because of differences in laws from state to state, it can be even more complicated for same-sex intended parents. This question arises: how does surrogacy work for gay couples?фтв how does surrogacy work for gay parents?


 We will help you understand and answer some of the most common questions asked by same-sex couples seeking our services.

What is gay surrogacy? 


It is important to understand what is gay surrogacy? A surrogacy journey is a monumental experience but also a complex process. The process can be simplified by breaking it down into five major milestones, with many mini-milestones within.


  • Consultation and sign-on. The first step in the surrogacy process is deciding to grow your family through surrogacy and choosing an agency. Intended parents will also match with an egg donor and create their embryos, if needed. The next exciting stage is finding the amazing surrogate who will help them grow their family. A match will be presented to both the surrogate and the intended parents. If they are both interested, they will be officially matched.


  • Matching with a surrogate. One of the most exhilarating stages is finding the match. future parents will find a remarkable woman who will help them expand their family. A potential surrogate will be presented to both the surrogate and the intended parents. If both parties are enthusiastic, they will be officially matched.


  • Screenings and legal work. During the medical and legal phase, the gestational carrier will go to the intended parents' IVF clinic for her medical screening. From there, she will receive her protocol and begin her medications and monitoring at her local clinic. Parents will work with their lawyer to draft their surrogacy contract while their carrier works with her own lawyer. When the time is right, the surrogate will go to the IVF clinic for the embryo transfer. Many intended parents attend this milestone in person and spend time with their surrogate. Once she returns home, she will continue to go to the local clinic for testing until there is a (fingers crossed!) confirmation of heartbeat.


  • Pregnancy is the longest stage of the surrogacy journey. During this time, intended parents will develop a strong bond with their surrogate as she shares updates on the pregnancy and baby. She will be released to her own OB/GYN and will continue with ultrasound check-ins. The 20-week ultrasound is a big milestone that many intended parents attend in person. It is also a good time for intended parents to tour the hospital where their baby (or babies) will be born. Intended parents will work with their lawyer and local counsel to establish their parental rights. Parents will also prepare for their baby's arrival, packing and booking travel.


  • Parenthood. The moment has arrived when intended parents finally meet and hold their baby for the first time. When the doctor releases the baby from the hospital, parents usually travel home shortly thereafter.

How does surrogacy work for gay couples: Who becomes the biological father?


Gay singles and couples look for a young woman in egg donor databases that has certain qualities that they want. They choose an egg donor based on her appearance, intelligence, artistic and athletic ability; perhaps they will select someone who looks like one of them or resembles a close family friend. Lastly, they may select an egg donor after meeting her to get a better sense if she is the right fit.


The intended parents of an egg donor must decide who the biological father will be. This is often decided by which fathers want to be more involved in the child's life. Many gay couples desire two children, so they use the same egg donor and each father's biology to create embryos. Sometimes only one father wishes to be a biological parent, so their biology is used for one or two kids.


We hope we were able to answer the question: how does surrogacy work for gay couples.


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